personal development

I Can Do That, Too: The Practice of Self-Discipline with Cornelius Simon


In This Episode…

  • Discover how to conqueror procrastination and overcome anxiety
  • Learn how to better manage distractions and interruptions
  • Gain more confidence in completing tasks and accomplishing goals

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

Self-discipline is the ability to carry out your decisions and plans in spite of hardships and inconveniences.
 
What you experience after consistent discipline and sacrifice to achieve your goal will far outweigh your feelings if you just give in to experience instant gratification.
 
There's a high that comes from achieving success and if self-discipline got you there in one area, chances are you will want to repeat that to get success in another.
 
You’re lacking self-discipline if you have ever seen someone accomplish something, then felt jealous and thought that you could do the same thing.
 
Exercising self-discipline can result in creating positive new habits, boosting your productivity, and increase your self-confidence.
 
Saying no to things now means you're saying yes to something greater later– whatever your goal is. Going to bed on time… limiting social media time… restricting certain types of foods, etc. How much is it worth to you? You can have the pain of self-discipline now, or the pain of regret later– tell me which one will last longer.

 

 

What You Can Do

   

Don't look at self-discipline as a set of restrictions you must live by. Instead, frame it in your mind as what you will gain– the end result of your discipline.
 
Use structure. Structure facilitates success when it comes to achieving goals.  
 
Condition your mind by creating routines and habits that will set you up for success.
 
Ask yourself why? What is your reason for achieving this goal? Your "why" should motivate you if you get frustrated.
 
Get a coach, mentor, or someone who will hold you accountable for following through with the things you say you want to accomplish.  If possible, choose someone with a different personality than you.
 

10 ways to develop self-discipline:

  1. Have specific goals in mind.
  2. Identify ways that you spend your time that get in the way of your goals.
  3. Do more of the things that you want to become disciplined in, to form that habit.
  4. Incorporate daily meditation into your routine.
  5. Create a list of the top 5-10 things you want to accomplish, and then schedule the tasks associated with them.
  6. Measure your behavior and progress toward your goal.
  7. Get organized. Use your notebook or app with the list from #5.
  8. Manage distractions and interruptions.
  9. Be consistent.
  10. Be persistent.
 

Connect with My Guest

Cornelius Simon, Motivational Speaker, Life Success Coach, and Corporate Trainer

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Youtube

 

Links and Resources

 

The Dream Experience Course is a mult-step course to help you turn your dreams into reality by stepping through a process of moving dreams "mental images" into a projected state of achievement.

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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What I Wish I’d Known About Suicide and Grief with Kristi Hugstad

In This Episode…

  • Kristi's story (2:21)
  • Recognizing depression and mental illness (15:35)
  • Asking the question, "Are you OK?" (20:51)
  • The problems with the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, about teen suicide (23:04)
  • The stigma of crying in front of people (28:40)
  • The time it takes to grieve and the "get over it" sentiment (31:44)
  • The stages of grief myth (33:24)
  • What Kristi wishes she had known (35:19)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

Depression is not just sadness. Depression is a prolonged feeling that lasts more than two weeks where it seems like a dark cloud is following you around and you have no desire to do things that you to do, including things you've enjoyed doing–even if things in your life are going well.
 
Depression is not a choice. Like other forms of mental illness, it results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Risk factors include:
  • Sleeping too much, or too little (insomnia)
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Self-loathing
  • Family history of depression, suicide (including attempted suicide)
 
Crying is a healthy way to release stress. You feel better after a good cry. And it's not a sign of weakness. Often, if you hold in your emotions, sooner or later you will explode in anger. 
 
You will not "get over" a debilitating loss, especially someone who you loved.  Eventually you can discover a new normal. Instead of calling the grieving process "the stages of grief," Kristi refers to them as "common responses" to grief. These do not happen in a linear fashion; some things will repeat like a roller coaster, others may be skipped depending on your personal response.
 
Kristi wrote a Huffington Post blog where she explains that the Netflix show, 13 Reasons Why, while powerful, yet offered no hope, tools or resources to teen viewers, the main character's depression was not addressed, and the show glamourized suicide.
 

"Pain and growth can co-exist. Grief is not your enemy; grief is your teacher."

– Kristi Hugstad

 

What You Can Do

   

Pay attention to the warning signs listed above. Don't try to fix these issues on your own.  Mental illnesses must be treated by trained professional therapists and psychiatrists.
 
Do not end psychiatric medicine cold turkey; always follow the instructions of your prescribing doctor.
 
If you are grieving, understand that time does not heal all wounds. You must take action to help yourself heal.
 

Connect with My Guest

Kristi Hugstad, Speaker, Author

Website and Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram  

 
 

Links and Resources

 
R U OK? (a book for teens) 
 
13 Reasons Why Not (blog on Huffington Post)
 
 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

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  Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts. You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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The Message in the Bottle with Stephanie McAuliffe

In This Episode…

  • Breaking free of the shame and secrecy associated with living with an alcoholic. 
  • Understanding the “why” behind some of what we do
  • Finding forgiveness for ourselves and others.

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

  • The disease of alcoholism often runs in families and the effect can devastate multiple generations. When we don’t talk about what’s going on, we internalize the energy and it makes us sick. 
  • We spend the majority of our time and energy focused on the drinker and we often lose ourselves.
  • Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement.
  • Find forgiveness for others doesn't mean that we are condoning what happened and reconciling.
  • Understanding why people did what they did may help you let go of the judgment you have felt about what they did. This will help free you from that negative energy.

 

What You Can Do

   

Girls and women need to be able to talk about the issues they face. There are things we do that our mothers and grandmothers did, and we don't know why, but it's ingrained in us. So it takes a conscious effort to change.
 
Even if the other person doesn't change, we can learn how to change how we react to them.
 

Do not continue to talk about people who have done you wrong in a critical way, because it keeps you in that negative energy you lived with when you were around them.
 
Have empathy for those who are struggling with something.
 

Connect with My Guest

Stephanie McAuliffe, Author, Coach

Links and Resources

Get your free copy of Stephanie's book, The Message in the Bottle: Finding Hope and Peace Amidst the Chaos of Living with an Alcoholic.

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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  Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts. You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

 

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Ease and Flow with Pascale Recher


In This Episode…

  • 4:30 Resilience defined
  • 9:30 Self-care examples
  • 14:03 Getting good support
  • 17:22 Developing more resilience

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It's good to know what fills your tank before you need it, how to recharge and ask questions to reboot yourself.
 
There are constructive ways and destructive ways to cope with life, and sometimes the methods we use to avoid suffering just prolong the issue. When you are resilient, you can be like bamboo: it bends but doesn't break.
 

What You Can Do

The compassion that you give yourself will help you to become more resilient.

Getting to know yourself will develop more resilience.
 
Avoidance doesn't work. Sit with your pain, and feel it. Cry, yell, or sit quietly with it. Be brave enough to be by yourself and acknowledge where you are.
 
Acknowledge the things and people that give you light, and those that bring you down. Keep a list and refer to it in a journal. Have your list, or a meditation ritual, or music playlist available when you need a pick-me-up.  
 
Create self-care activities like a bubble bath.
 
Be your own friend. Engage in positive self-talk.

Connect with My Guest

Pascale Recher, Solopreneur, Hair and Makeup Artist, Podcaster
 

Links and Resources

Check out Pascale's free 5-day challenge to set-up good routines and pillars in your life and business to keep momentum when things get tough.
 

 

 

More on being your own best friend (podcast)

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  Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts. You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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The Best Kind of Stress Reliever with Teliah Gienger

 

In This Episode…

  • Reframe your stress (it’s not all bad)
  • Listen to your body while it’s talking (instead of waiting until it screams)
  • Look at challenges as an opportunity to grow

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Stress is a part of life, and trying to get rid of all stress can stress you out even more! A better way is learning to manage stress instead of running away from it.

Stress is not always bad. It can alert you to things that are not good in your life, and motivate you to make changes.

In any venture or area of life, our success begins with a healthy mindset. – Teliah Gienger

Our bodies will naturally let us know when something is wrong, but its not always something drastic that happens, like a siren going off to get our attention. The signs it gives slowly build up until we can’t ignore them.

 

What You Can Do

Reframe challenges as an opportunity to grow.

Being in touch with your body allows you to become more aware of how things affect you.

 

Connect with My Guest

Teliah Gienger, Entrepreneur, Coach and Podcast Host
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teliah.gienger and https://www.facebook.com/thebalancingactpodcast/
Twitter
Instagram – @teliahgienger (Personal) and @thebalancingactpodcast (Podcast)
Email – teliah@thebalancingactpodcast.com (Podcast Inquiries) or teliahgienger@gmail.com (All other inquiries)

 

Links and Resources

Forthcoming:

3-day yoga retreat in August 2017

40 Days to Healthy Habits by Teliah Gienger (an ebook focusing on nutrition, physical health, mental health through meditation, journaling, emotional and spiritual health, and lifestyle changes).

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

KIWD Patreon Page

 

Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts.

You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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Training for Love Greatness with Daniel Packard

In This Episode…

  • How to dismantle the lie of not being _________ enough to be loved
  • How to reframe rejection
  • How you can use principles of self-love to enhance all areas of life (not just romance)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Your future mate is out there if you believe that you’re a 10 [on a scale of 10]. If you learned something different about yourself, you can unlearn it.

“Part of not loving yourself for your imperfections is like telling God, ‘You messed up [when you made me]!’ ” – Daniel Packard, Trainer of Love Athletes

We subsciously tell ourselves that we are not enough over and over again. But from a science perspective, you do not have to change an external thing like your weight, your skin, etc. to make yourself more lovable. If you want attention, then you may need to drop weight or get plastic surgery. But are you looking for attention or are you looking for love?

If you have fear of rejection or being hurt, be aware that what causes the hurt is the meaning we ascribe to it. Especially if the meaning you deduce from someone’s action is that you are not enough to be loved. It’s a lie.

All females are not feminine. Women have the gift of being feminine, and this trait it part of what attract a high-value, quality, masculine partner. Femininity is the soil that allows the flower to blossom.

Low self-esteem can begin in youth, but there are many things we stop believing as we mature, like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But being “not enough” sticks around because we regularly reinforce this message to ourselves.

 

What You Can Do

When you learn how to train like a love athlete, you feel good about yourself, comfortable in your own skin, and love is deeper.

When you continue to work on yourself, things get better for you. You’re no longer depressed, jaded and exhausted. You’re hopeful.

The beauty of the process of self-love is that you just work on one thing. Work on one thing at a time. This prevents overwhelm.

When you build your inner core of self-love and you get right, the noise of the world drops and you don’t hear it anymore.

The only thing that keeps you from love is FEAR. But you have to own it to get over it. Admit it if you’re afraid. If you blame something or someone else, then you’re a victim and that distracts you from the real issue. Don’t fall for the tactics.

When you have courage, you can feel fear, but still act in love despite the fear.

As you train for love greatness, the “not enoughness” you started with gradually shrivels up and disintegrates as you became a naturally authentic beautiful flower.

When you love who you are, you’re a better leader, you’re better in all kinds of relationships, you’re better at work… it makes life better! The best leaders are vulnerable and compassionate.

“I don’t want anybody begging for love–it’s your birthright! I want you to feel it so you can claim it and stop begging for it.” – Daniel Packard

Connect with My Guest

Daniel Packard, Trainer of Love Athletes

Websites: http://www.danielpackard.com and loveathlete.com/

Twitter

Facebook

Links and Resources

Next-Level Love Webinar (9-week interactive online course starts on December 9, 2016)

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
  2. Tweet me @DareeAllen quoting #KickinitwithDaree
  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

KIWD Patreon Page

 

Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts.

You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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Getting Over the Gap with Mitchell Langbert

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In This Episode…

  • How to piggyback on feelings of motivation to foster consistent action toward goals

  • Why you need to develop good habits in the right order

  • How role models empower you—and where to find them

  • What to do when you’re overwhelmed thinking about how to achieve your goals

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

In order to turn the inspiration into behavior, you have to develop the right habits.

People have trouble motivating themselves because of prior habits. Habits are easier to set when we are young, but they become difficult to break as we grow. Both strong, emotional beliefs and incentives can help us change our habits, but the new pattern needs to be repeated many times. Pavlov, Thorndike, Skinner and other behaviorists emphasize association of reinforcement with behavior to change habits. However, strong beliefs can motivate action too—perhaps more so. Think of Marines or religious zealots who act in unusual ways because of their belief systems and training.

There are two basic theories of motivation, extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivators are incentives like buying yourself a present if you do something for which you’ve set a goal. Intrinsic motivators are feelings, beliefs, or mental states. Intrinsic motivators include a sense that you are actualizing yourself by pursuing a path or accomplishing something. Intrinsic motivators are the most powerful and long-lasting. You are more committed to practicing and fulfilling activities when you are intrinsically motivated.

In goal setting, affirmations may be cliche but can help you clarify the results you want.

Without motivation, there’s a gap between feeling like doing something and doing it. Once you get over that gap to make a habit, working toward your goals gets easier.

Goals should be useful. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. The most successful people don’t set goals too easy or too difficult — they are challenging but still achievable.

You must be willing to put up with rejection or failures along the way. It’s a part of the process. Repeated failures means that you’re “failing up” because each failure teaches you about what not to do next time.

 

What You Can Do

Develop skills in the right order. Work in the area where your goal lies. Taking a side job develops skills and habits for that area–which is not your goal.

Having models leads to your empowerment. Spending time with people who are like-minded achievers (or higher achieving people than you) you get ideas, guidance and support to motivate you to keep practicing or moving forward with the tasks related to your goals. You learn successful habits by imitating successful people. If you hang around people who are models that are rewarded for their successful habits, you’re more likely to imitate them.

If you feel overwhelmed or stressed about the process of accomplishing a goal, use the concept of “small wins.” Break big tasks into smaller ones.

 

Connect with My Guest

Mitchell Langbert, Professor, Author

Email

Links and Resources

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Everyone Can, But Not Everyone Will: What is Your Why? with Mel Jones

tmp_19175-getuncomfortable_ig-1619742964In This Episode…

  • How to transfer the feeling of motivation into action?
  • The secret to STAYING motivated when obstacles come?

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Motivation is not only real but it is the basis of all actions taken by any living organism. Motivation is merely the reasoning behind why anybody does anything.
People who have reached success all have a mentality that includes confidence, competence, and they engage in the preparation that builds their confidence and competence.

A [disciplined] life is something everyone needs, but something will do:

“Some are not willing to make the sacrifice [of foregoing social events for the sake of bettering themselves].
To me it’s doesn’t even feel like a sacrifice. I’m investing. It just feels like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.”  – Mel Jones

Without action and real motivation there is absolutely zero value in resolutions, but journaling, goal tracking, and vision boards may inspire you to eventually put in the necessary action eventually.
The only way to avoid regret is to accept that you can’t avoid it. Either you will regret not doing it or you will regret that you failed at trying. The real question is which regret will bring you closer to finding the answer to your success?

 

What You Can Do

“Learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Force yourself to stay disciplined to do things you don’t  feel like doing, because that builds character.”  – Mel Jones

Nobody enjoys the struggles that come with these changes.  It starts in the mind.  Train your mind and embed your reason why you have your goal, study and instill the concepts and skills you need to achieve it, daily.  Become fixated on it.

You may have to do something over and over for a long time before you see the results you’re after. Continue to be consistent and repetive in completing the tasks (practicing, studying, etc.) to hone your craft.

You can maintain motivation most effectively by constantly reading motivational content, listening to motivational speakers, acquiring new skills, and revisiting your biggest WHY for doing it.

When you hit an obstacle you should double down on your reading and audio absorption. You are going to need those special set of words and pieces of information to get you through to the other side with moment still at your advantage.

Not only is it important for you to believe that you can do it, but you need supporters that also believe in you and your ability.

 

 

Connect with My Guest

Powerful Thinking Coach & Lifestyle Entrepreneur, Fitness Professional and Author
Website: http://motivationalphilosopher.com and http://www.gripworkgear.com
Instagram
Twitter
LinkedIn

Links and Resources

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