women

What I Wish I’d Known About Suicide and Grief with Kristi Hugstad

In This Episode…

  • Kristi's story (2:21)
  • Recognizing depression and mental illness (15:35)
  • Asking the question, "Are you OK?" (20:51)
  • The problems with the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, about teen suicide (23:04)
  • The stigma of crying in front of people (28:40)
  • The time it takes to grieve and the "get over it" sentiment (31:44)
  • The stages of grief myth (33:24)
  • What Kristi wishes she had known (35:19)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

Depression is not just sadness. Depression is a prolonged feeling that lasts more than two weeks where it seems like a dark cloud is following you around and you have no desire to do things that you to do, including things you've enjoyed doing–even if things in your life are going well.
 
Depression is not a choice. Like other forms of mental illness, it results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Risk factors include:
  • Sleeping too much, or too little (insomnia)
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Self-loathing
  • Family history of depression, suicide (including attempted suicide)
 
Crying is a healthy way to release stress. You feel better after a good cry. And it's not a sign of weakness. Often, if you hold in your emotions, sooner or later you will explode in anger. 
 
You will not "get over" a debilitating loss, especially someone who you loved.  Eventually you can discover a new normal. Instead of calling the grieving process "the stages of grief," Kristi refers to them as "common responses" to grief. These do not happen in a linear fashion; some things will repeat like a roller coaster, others may be skipped depending on your personal response.
 
Kristi wrote a Huffington Post blog where she explains that the Netflix show, 13 Reasons Why, while powerful, yet offered no hope, tools or resources to teen viewers, the main character's depression was not addressed, and the show glamourized suicide.
 

"Pain and growth can co-exist. Grief is not your enemy; grief is your teacher."

– Kristi Hugstad

 

What You Can Do

   

Pay attention to the warning signs listed above. Don't try to fix these issues on your own.  Mental illnesses must be treated by trained professional therapists and psychiatrists.
 
Do not end psychiatric medicine cold turkey; always follow the instructions of your prescribing doctor.
 
If you are grieving, understand that time does not heal all wounds. You must take action to help yourself heal.
 

Connect with My Guest

Kristi Hugstad, Speaker, Author

Website and Podcast

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram  

 
 

Links and Resources

 
R U OK? (a book for teens) 
 
13 Reasons Why Not (blog on Huffington Post)
 
 

Ask and Share!

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The Message in the Bottle with Stephanie McAuliffe

In This Episode…

  • Breaking free of the shame and secrecy associated with living with an alcoholic. 
  • Understanding the “why” behind some of what we do
  • Finding forgiveness for ourselves and others.

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

  • The disease of alcoholism often runs in families and the effect can devastate multiple generations. When we don’t talk about what’s going on, we internalize the energy and it makes us sick. 
  • We spend the majority of our time and energy focused on the drinker and we often lose ourselves.
  • Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement.
  • Find forgiveness for others doesn't mean that we are condoning what happened and reconciling.
  • Understanding why people did what they did may help you let go of the judgment you have felt about what they did. This will help free you from that negative energy.

 

What You Can Do

   

Girls and women need to be able to talk about the issues they face. There are things we do that our mothers and grandmothers did, and we don't know why, but it's ingrained in us. So it takes a conscious effort to change.
 
Even if the other person doesn't change, we can learn how to change how we react to them.
 

Do not continue to talk about people who have done you wrong in a critical way, because it keeps you in that negative energy you lived with when you were around them.
 
Have empathy for those who are struggling with something.
 

Connect with My Guest

Stephanie McAuliffe, Author, Coach

Links and Resources

Get your free copy of Stephanie's book, The Message in the Bottle: Finding Hope and Peace Amidst the Chaos of Living with an Alcoholic.

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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Ease and Flow with Pascale Recher


In This Episode…

  • 4:30 Resilience defined
  • 9:30 Self-care examples
  • 14:03 Getting good support
  • 17:22 Developing more resilience

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It's good to know what fills your tank before you need it, how to recharge and ask questions to reboot yourself.
 
There are constructive ways and destructive ways to cope with life, and sometimes the methods we use to avoid suffering just prolong the issue. When you are resilient, you can be like bamboo: it bends but doesn't break.
 

What You Can Do

The compassion that you give yourself will help you to become more resilient.

Getting to know yourself will develop more resilience.
 
Avoidance doesn't work. Sit with your pain, and feel it. Cry, yell, or sit quietly with it. Be brave enough to be by yourself and acknowledge where you are.
 
Acknowledge the things and people that give you light, and those that bring you down. Keep a list and refer to it in a journal. Have your list, or a meditation ritual, or music playlist available when you need a pick-me-up.  
 
Create self-care activities like a bubble bath.
 
Be your own friend. Engage in positive self-talk.

Connect with My Guest

Pascale Recher, Solopreneur, Hair and Makeup Artist, Podcaster
 

Links and Resources

Check out Pascale's free 5-day challenge to set-up good routines and pillars in your life and business to keep momentum when things get tough.
 

 

 

More on being your own best friend (podcast)

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The Bon-Vivant Life: Curing the Hunger for Happiness with Nathalie Botros

 


In This Episode…

  • 14:39 The definition of a "Bon-Vivant" girl
  • 15:36 Steps to implement the Bon-Vivant lifestyle
  • 21:16 How to implement the steps of the Bon-Vivant lifestyle

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

There is no one-size-fits-all diet. Your genetics and hormones play a great role in what will and won't work for you.
 
A good rule is to not eat foods that contain more than five ingredients, or that contain ingredients you can't pronounce–they're probably chemicals.
 
When you live well, you don't frustrate yourself.
 
No more waiting for "if"s to make something happen! "When I get this job/lost this weight, or ___________, then I'll be happy."  No!
 

What You Can Do

   

Keep a food journal that logs not only what you eat, but also, where you are, what time it is, why you're eating (you could be hungry, bored, with friends, etc.) and how you are feeling. This information will give you a more complete picture of your habits that you can evaluate.
 
Allow your feelings of happiness to catch up, over time, with the positive habits and actions you take day after day. It's a process– not instant.  Any lasting change requires commitment.
 
Identify the underlying problem that is causing you not to be happy.





Each day, find something good about your day.





Don't put yourself down with negative self-talk ("I'm so stupid!).
 
 

Steps to implement the Bon-Vivant lifestyle:

  1. Love and accept yourself.
  2. Keep a food journal.
  3. Clear negative energy and people from your life.
  4. Do everything with love.
  5. Socialize.

Connect with My Guest

Nathalie Botros, Certified Health Coach and Psychotherapist

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram  

Links and Resources


 

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HPV and You: Not Just a Woman’s Health Issue with Robin LaCross

In This Episode…

  • 1:16 Why it's hard for women to talk about our vaginal and reproductive health
  • 4:26 How preventing child abuse starts in the home
  • 7:58 What HPV is and why both males and females should care about it
  • 12:40 Why HPV testing for males is not promoted, and how males can test at home
  • 18:26 Background on the Gardasil vaccine and why its marketed to parents of teens
  • 21:51 How factors of treating dysplasia can put future fertility at risk
  • 24:32 Natural solutions to help your body heal itself
  • 28:25 The HPV Education Project

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It's important to get comfortable with using the actual words for your anatomy. Each body part has a name, and there should be no shame associated with any of them. 
 
HPV is a sexually-transmitted virus that is extremely common. Sometimes it goes away on its own, but you don't know without taking a test, because HPV does not always produce symptoms that you can see. Untreated HPV can cause cancers that affects both sexes (oral, throat, penile, anal and cervical cancer).
 
Cervical dysplasia is in a way a reflection of what's going on in your body as a whole.
 
Females should specifically ask to be screened for HPV whenever they have a pap smear, to check for cervical cancer.
 

What You Can Do  

You want your child to have your values first, so that a potential abuser cannot infiltrate their thinking with messages that perpetuate secrecy. Help give children the right words for their genitals, the vocabulary to express themselves, and teach them what it means to have boundaries and proper touching. 
 
Taking care of your body (getting enough sleep, reducing stress, and eating well) will help you defeat or ward off HPV.  Not taking care of yourself, especially heightened stress, sex with a smoker or taking hormonal birth control can cause problems.
 
Test kits to screen oral, throat, penile, anal cancers are not done in the mainstream at doctor offices, but are available through Robin's website below.
 

Connect with My Guest

Robin LaCross, Holistic Health Practitioner
Website – Free Gift: 3 Strategies to Protect Yourself from HPV
 

Facebook Pages:

https://www.facebook.com/The-HPV-Education-Project

https://www.facebook.com/cervicalhealth/

 

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/FertilityDeva

https://twitter.com/HPVeduProject  

Links and Resources

www.cervixhealth.com – Free Webinar: Natural Ways To Overcome HPV And Create Cervical Health… Even If You've Just Received An Abnormal Pap Smear Result

 

www.fertilitydeva.com – Free webinar: Natural Ways to Avoid Pregnancy without Giving Up Sex or Relying on Birth Control.

 

www.raisingempowereddaughters.com – Free Gift: Mom's Quick Start Guide: Conversations About Growing Up, Sex and Staying Safe

 

Facebook Group for Moms Raising Empowered Daughters:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisingempowereddaughters/

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

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Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? with Pamela Naidoo

 


In This Episode…

  • Having a successful relationship while also having a best friend of the opposite sex (2:48)
  • For females, why it often seems easier to be friends with males than other females (4:02)
  • Delving into the psychology of “the friend zone” (6:58)
  • Letting someone down gently when the attraction is not mutual (10:55)
  • The right way to make friends with a guy, in general (13:34)
  • Making friends with a guy who has a girlfriend (17:56)
  • FWB: what it is, and what it is not (25:55)
  • Whether a woman can be in a FWB situation without emotions (30:13)
  • Why a woman might decide to start a FWB arrangement, and setting realistic expectations (33:06)

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It’s your responsibility to make sure that your partner knows that you value your relationship with him or her above your relationship with your friend.
 
Don’t fool yourself into thinking its harmless if you spend more time talking to an opposite sex friend than your own partner. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical cheating, and can lead to it eventually.
 
A "friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement is not a casual hookup. The presence of sex in a friendship will not move it into a committed, romantic relationship. However, women often make the assumption, or have the secret hope/expectation that it will, even if its discussed beforehand.
 
A woman’s body creates the bonding hormone oxytocin during sex a much greater rate than men, which makes it very difficult NOT to have feelings develop in a FWB situation.  It can lead to feelings of uncertainty, insecurity and rejection.  But some women are looking for pleasure, intimacy after a break-up, or just to feel desired.

 

What You Can Do

When you decide to start a friendship with someone of the opposite sex, keep it superficial in the beginning– nothing deep or emotional too soon, or you will seem needy and offputting, because men already find it uncomfortable to be vulnerable with other male friends. Keep it to group activities at first–don’t give off the wrong signals by flirting, dressing provacatively, or inviting them for “couply” activities.
 
When making friends with a man who is in a relationship, make sure you are not doing anything that would threaten his relationship.  And if YOU are in a relationship, talk with your partner about the rules and boundaries of making new friends of the opposite sex, and how to conduct yourself with opposite-sex friendships that were established before your relationship began.
 
Stay out of emails and direct messages on social media with inappropriate communication! If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t put it in the DM either.
 
If you are having romantic feelings for a friend, it’s only fair that after you have decided whether or not its a passing phase, to tell your friend how you are feeling about them.  Understand your needs and theirs.

 

Connect with My Guest

Pamela Naidoo, Platonic Friendship Coach, Speaker, Author
Website
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram

 

Links and Resources

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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What Women REALLY Need to Know About Loving Men and Raising Boys with Dr. Joe Martin

 


In This Episode…

  • Real Men Connect (2:45)
  • Dr. Joe's story and definition of a real man vs. a male (5:45)
  • Why males fail to mature and the challenges they face (12:14)
  • What it takes to be real man (18:48)
  • What women really need to know about the men they're in relationships with (26:25)
  • What single moms should do when they are raising boys (36:57)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

When a male is born, it's only when they have the tools to succeed in life can they be called real men.
 
"No good man can become a great man without the help of a GODLY man." – Dr. Joe Martin
 
One of the biggest challenges males face is that they don't know what we're doing. They are ignorant because they don't know what they don't know!  It's assumed they should know how to love women, meet their needs, to take care of our families and lead them, but if they don't have the blueprint, then they make up things as we go along.
 
Where and from whom a man gets advice and encouragement is more important than his good looks, his income, or educational accomplishments.
 
Another issue is pride; males don't know how to ask a man for help.  Then there's apathy– when males get so frustrated that they give up and say "I don't care anymore."
 
Males also have a lack of commitment. They will start something and not finish it.
 
Males struggle with priority
 
A real man:
  • Leads his family spiritually.
  • Loves and serves others sacrificially.
  • Leaves a legacy of faith for future generations.
  • Teach other men how to do all of the above.
 
**A woman can encourage a man, but only a man can affirm another man.
 
Things women need to know about the men they love:
  • Their self-worth and identity comes from their ability to provide for you. If they can't, they will act out.
  • They need to know and believe that they can satisfy and make you happy in all areas, not just sexually. He needs to know that he's good enough for you. If he doesn't feel that he's pleasing you, he is susceptible to wandering elsewhere to someone who boosts his ego–even she is not as attractive as you.
  • They need to know that they can be vulnerable around you without seeming weak, and without you losing respect for him. A woman can a safe place for him to fall, because his pride and ego say that to another man he might seem weak to share his feelings. 
  • A man is only as strong as the stronger men he has in his life.  You can't count on a man who doesn't have accountability.  Make sure you meet the men he is accountable to, so you know who is influencing him.  If he doesn't have accountability from a strong man, don't compromise–he is not ready for you.

 

What You Can Do

   

When you're dating a man, you should ask yourself where he got his values from, and who he is listening to and learning from. Did he have a strong father or father figure in his life to mentor him? Who does he talk to when he needs advice or encouragement?  
 
Never say to a man, "Be a man," "act like a man," or man up," because that will emasculate him.
 
If you are the single mother with a son, recruit a man for your son to be his mentor from your community– it could be in your neighborhood or in your church for example.  Observe men as they are with their families, and observe how his children and wife respond to him.  Do his children respect him? Does his wife treat him with love and care? If so, he might be a candidate. He can fake success at work if he wants to, but he can't fake success with his own family.
 
Ladies, have good expectations of men. If you give him a crown, he'll act like a king.  If he sees what he can be, then he'll live up to what he should be.
 
Gentlemen, if you want to become a good man, then humble yourself and ask for help. It's not your fault if you weren't taught, but once you know better, you should do better.

Connect with My Guest

Joe Martin, Ed.D. Founder & Creator, Real Men Connect

Links and Resources

 
Are you spiritually STUCK, TIRED, or FRUSTRATED? 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

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Be Your Own Best Friend with Dr. Kristina Hallett

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on your favorite player – Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Reciting your failures and re-hashing your mistakes over and over again will not help you feel better or improve.
 
When you quickly, repeatedly downplay or brush off compliments from others, they can see that as being offensive.
 
Failure is always a success if you took an action to try something– you made an effort, and you probably learned something from it.
 
Celebrate little successes–even the simple things that you have accomplished–each day.
 
You are responsible for your own thoughts, feeling and actions, and we’re not responsible for anyone else’s. (27:11)
 
Happiness is a choice. (30:12)
 
You are fabulous all on your own, whether you have a significant other or not. That person can add to your “fabulosity,” but you by yourself are still amazing. Accept yourself.
 
The 8-step EMPOWERS process:
  • Enhance your energy (15:09)
  • Make extra time
  • Practice perspective (24:39) [Daree’s favorite part!]
  • Own your best self
  • Wake up your inner badass (33:20) [Kristina’s fave!]
  • Envision your inner purpose
  • Release the blocks and go for it
  • Shine your light brightly (45:26)

What You Can Do

Learn to let go of self-doubt and negative internal messages.
Ask for help when you need it. Say no if you need time to rest.
Take the “meta view” to shift your perspective and get more objectivity about your circumstances.
Don’t assume what others are thinking and feeling, or that they are out to get you and do something wrong to you. (27:30)
Learn to appreciate yourself as being perfectly imperfect.

 

Connect with My Guest

Dr. Kristina Hallett, Psychologist, Professor, Life Coach, Author
Website
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook
Linkedin

Links and Resources

Own Best Friend book info

Own Best Friend: Eight Steps to a Life of Purpose, Passion, and Ease by Dr. Kristina Hallett – BUY it here

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

 

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You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below.  These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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The Happy Middle with Lauri Mackey

In This Episode…

Have you ever felt like you wanted to accomplish something but talked yourself out of it with thoughts of, "You're too old," or "It's too late"?  Well, it's never too late to follow your dreams. Just ask Lauri Mackey, who has accomplished a LIST of things after turning 40, including racing mountain bikes and getting her GED in a class full of Hispanic teenagers that she had nothing else in common with!

Lauri shows us how to embrace and celebrate your current station in life– where you are right now!

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

 

You can't touch yesterday; the past is a learning tool. You have now.

Don't think in terms of waiting until. It's what you do today that will make your future goal a reality.


 

 

What You Can Do

 

Don't sell yourself short because you're over 40. Change your attitude from “I can't” to “I will.”

 

Change your negative language from “I can't because…” to “I WILL ___________.”

What you do now will go toward your future goals?

Be intentional with your actions. Visualize the manifestation of your dream becoming your reality.

Are you waiting to get motivated? Motivation is step 2!

Step 1 – Action – It doesn't have to be big. You can take baby steps, and it's ok if you “fall off the wagon” and miss a day or two. Just back to it!

Step 2 – Motivation (this istarts from the feeling you get after having accomplished step 1)

Step 3 – Momentum (develops from repeating steps 1 and 2 over and over again)

Step 3a – Have fun!

You don't have to be perfect when you are implementing these steps. No one is perfect. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be human.

 


 

 

Connect with My Guest

Lauri Mackey, Inspirational Speaker/Mountain Biker/RockStar Podcaster

Lauri's Lemonade Stand Positivity Podcast for Women
Blog
Facebook
Twitter 
Instagram

 

 

Links and Resources

Eddy's 60 Days of Sunshine emails
 

 

Exclusive Podcast Content!

Get special clips just for my loyal listeners, and learn how to create your own podcast with my free checklist!

 

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The Best Kind of Stress Reliever with Teliah Gienger

 

In This Episode…

  • Reframe your stress (it’s not all bad)
  • Listen to your body while it’s talking (instead of waiting until it screams)
  • Look at challenges as an opportunity to grow

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Stress is a part of life, and trying to get rid of all stress can stress you out even more! A better way is learning to manage stress instead of running away from it.

Stress is not always bad. It can alert you to things that are not good in your life, and motivate you to make changes.

In any venture or area of life, our success begins with a healthy mindset. – Teliah Gienger

Our bodies will naturally let us know when something is wrong, but its not always something drastic that happens, like a siren going off to get our attention. The signs it gives slowly build up until we can’t ignore them.

 

What You Can Do

Reframe challenges as an opportunity to grow.

Being in touch with your body allows you to become more aware of how things affect you.

 

Connect with My Guest

Teliah Gienger, Entrepreneur, Coach and Podcast Host
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teliah.gienger and https://www.facebook.com/thebalancingactpodcast/
Twitter
Instagram – @teliahgienger (Personal) and @thebalancingactpodcast (Podcast)
Email – teliah@thebalancingactpodcast.com (Podcast Inquiries) or teliahgienger@gmail.com (All other inquiries)

 

Links and Resources

Forthcoming:

3-day yoga retreat in August 2017

40 Days to Healthy Habits by Teliah Gienger (an ebook focusing on nutrition, physical health, mental health through meditation, journaling, emotional and spiritual health, and lifestyle changes).

Ask and Share!

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  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

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