women

HPV and You: Not Just a Woman’s Health Issue with Robin LaCross

In This Episode…

  • 1:16 Why it's hard for women to talk about our vaginal and reproductive health
  • 4:26 How preventing child abuse starts in the home
  • 7:58 What HPV is and why both males and females should care about it
  • 12:40 Why HPV testing for males is not promoted, and how males can test at home
  • 18:26 Background on the Gardasil vaccine and why its marketed to parents of teens
  • 21:51 How factors of treating dysplasia can put future fertility at risk
  • 24:32 Natural solutions to help your body heal itself
  • 28:25 The HPV Education Project

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It's important to get comfortable with using the actual words for your anatomy. Each body part has a name, and there should be no shame associated with any of them. 
 
HPV is a sexually-transmitted virus that is extremely common. Sometimes it goes away on its own, but you don't know without taking a test, because HPV does not always produce symptoms that you can see. Untreated HPV can cause cancers that affects both sexes (oral, throat, penile, anal and cervical cancer).
 
Cervical dysplasia is in a way a reflection of what's going on in your body as a whole.
 
Females should specifically ask to be screened for HPV whenever they have a pap smear, to check for cervical cancer.
 

What You Can Do  

You want your child to have your values first, so that a potential abuser cannot infiltrate their thinking with messages that perpetuate secrecy. Help give children the right words for their genitals, the vocabulary to express themselves, and teach them what it means to have boundaries and proper touching. 
 
Taking care of your body (getting enough sleep, reducing stress, and eating well) will help you defeat or ward off HPV.  Not taking care of yourself, especially heightened stress, sex with a smoker or taking hormonal birth control can cause problems.
 
Test kits to screen oral, throat, penile, anal cancers are not done in the mainstream at doctor offices, but are available through Robin's website below.
 

Connect with My Guest

Robin LaCross, Holistic Health Practitioner
Website – Free Gift: 3 Strategies to Protect Yourself from HPV
 

Facebook Pages:

https://www.facebook.com/The-HPV-Education-Project

https://www.facebook.com/cervicalhealth/

 

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/FertilityDeva

https://twitter.com/HPVeduProject  

Links and Resources

www.cervixhealth.com – Free Webinar: Natural Ways To Overcome HPV And Create Cervical Health… Even If You've Just Received An Abnormal Pap Smear Result

 

www.fertilitydeva.com – Free webinar: Natural Ways to Avoid Pregnancy without Giving Up Sex or Relying on Birth Control.

 

www.raisingempowereddaughters.com – Free Gift: Mom's Quick Start Guide: Conversations About Growing Up, Sex and Staying Safe

 

Facebook Group for Moms Raising Empowered Daughters:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisingempowereddaughters/

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
  2. Tweet me @DareeAllen quoting #KickinitwithDaree
  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

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  Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts. You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

 

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Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? with Pamela Naidoo

 


In This Episode…

  • Having a successful relationship while also having a best friend of the opposite sex (2:48)
  • For females, why it often seems easier to be friends with males than other females (4:02)
  • Delving into the psychology of “the friend zone” (6:58)
  • Letting someone down gently when the attraction is not mutual (10:55)
  • The right way to make friends with a guy, in general (13:34)
  • Making friends with a guy who has a girlfriend (17:56)
  • FWB: what it is, and what it is not (25:55)
  • Whether a woman can be in a FWB situation without emotions (30:13)
  • Why a woman might decide to start a FWB arrangement, and setting realistic expectations (33:06)

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

It’s your responsibility to make sure that your partner knows that you value your relationship with him or her above your relationship with your friend.
 
Don’t fool yourself into thinking its harmless if you spend more time talking to an opposite sex friend than your own partner. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical cheating, and can lead to it eventually.
 
A "friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement is not a casual hookup. The presence of sex in a friendship will not move it into a committed, romantic relationship. However, women often make the assumption, or have the secret hope/expectation that it will, even if its discussed beforehand.
 
A woman’s body creates the bonding hormone oxytocin during sex a much greater rate than men, which makes it very difficult NOT to have feelings develop in a FWB situation.  It can lead to feelings of uncertainty, insecurity and rejection.  But some women are looking for pleasure, intimacy after a break-up, or just to feel desired.

 

What You Can Do

When you decide to start a friendship with someone of the opposite sex, keep it superficial in the beginning– nothing deep or emotional too soon, or you will seem needy and offputting, because men already find it uncomfortable to be vulnerable with other male friends. Keep it to group activities at first–don’t give off the wrong signals by flirting, dressing provacatively, or inviting them for “couply” activities.
 
When making friends with a man who is in a relationship, make sure you are not doing anything that would threaten his relationship.  And if YOU are in a relationship, talk with your partner about the rules and boundaries of making new friends of the opposite sex, and how to conduct yourself with opposite-sex friendships that were established before your relationship began.
 
Stay out of emails and direct messages on social media with inappropriate communication! If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t put it in the DM either.
 
If you are having romantic feelings for a friend, it’s only fair that after you have decided whether or not its a passing phase, to tell your friend how you are feeling about them.  Understand your needs and theirs.

 

Connect with My Guest

Pamela Naidoo, Platonic Friendship Coach, Speaker, Author
Website
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram

 

Links and Resources

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
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  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

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What Women REALLY Need to Know About Loving Men and Raising Boys with Dr. Joe Martin

 


In This Episode…

  • Real Men Connect (2:45)
  • Dr. Joe's story and definition of a real man vs. a male (5:45)
  • Why males fail to mature and the challenges they face (12:14)
  • What it takes to be real man (18:48)
  • What women really need to know about the men they're in relationships with (26:25)
  • What single moms should do when they are raising boys (36:57)

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

   

When a male is born, it's only when they have the tools to succeed in life can they be called real men.
 
"No good man can become a great man without the help of a GODLY man." – Dr. Joe Martin
 
One of the biggest challenges males face is that they don't know what we're doing. They are ignorant because they don't know what they don't know!  It's assumed they should know how to love women, meet their needs, to take care of our families and lead them, but if they don't have the blueprint, then they make up things as we go along.
 
Where and from whom a man gets advice and encouragement is more important than his good looks, his income, or educational accomplishments.
 
Another issue is pride; males don't know how to ask a man for help.  Then there's apathy– when males get so frustrated that they give up and say "I don't care anymore."
 
Males also have a lack of commitment. They will start something and not finish it.
 
Males struggle with priority
 
A real man:
  • Leads his family spiritually.
  • Loves and serves others sacrificially.
  • Leaves a legacy of faith for future generations.
  • Teach other men how to do all of the above.
 
**A woman can encourage a man, but only a man can affirm another man.
 
Things women need to know about the men they love:
  • Their self-worth and identity comes from their ability to provide for you. If they can't, they will act out.
  • They need to know and believe that they can satisfy and make you happy in all areas, not just sexually. He needs to know that he's good enough for you. If he doesn't feel that he's pleasing you, he is susceptible to wandering elsewhere to someone who boosts his ego–even she is not as attractive as you.
  • They need to know that they can be vulnerable around you without seeming weak, and without you losing respect for him. A woman can a safe place for him to fall, because his pride and ego say that to another man he might seem weak to share his feelings. 
  • A man is only as strong as the stronger men he has in his life.  You can't count on a man who doesn't have accountability.  Make sure you meet the men he is accountable to, so you know who is influencing him.  If he doesn't have accountability from a strong man, don't compromise–he is not ready for you.

 

What You Can Do

   

When you're dating a man, you should ask yourself where he got his values from, and who he is listening to and learning from. Did he have a strong father or father figure in his life to mentor him? Who does he talk to when he needs advice or encouragement?  
 
Never say to a man, "Be a man," "act like a man," or man up," because that will emasculate him.
 
If you are the single mother with a son, recruit a man for your son to be his mentor from your community– it could be in your neighborhood or in your church for example.  Observe men as they are with their families, and observe how his children and wife respond to him.  Do his children respect him? Does his wife treat him with love and care? If so, he might be a candidate. He can fake success at work if he wants to, but he can't fake success with his own family.
 
Ladies, have good expectations of men. If you give him a crown, he'll act like a king.  If he sees what he can be, then he'll live up to what he should be.
 
Gentlemen, if you want to become a good man, then humble yourself and ask for help. It's not your fault if you weren't taught, but once you know better, you should do better.

Connect with My Guest

Joe Martin, Ed.D. Founder & Creator, Real Men Connect

Links and Resources

 
Are you spiritually STUCK, TIRED, or FRUSTRATED? 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
  2. Tweet me @DareeAllen quoting #KickinitwithDaree
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Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts. You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

 

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Be Your Own Best Friend with Dr. Kristina Hallett

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on your favorite player – Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Reciting your failures and re-hashing your mistakes over and over again will not help you feel better or improve.
 
When you quickly, repeatedly downplay or brush off compliments from others, they can see that as being offensive.
 
Failure is always a success if you took an action to try something– you made an effort, and you probably learned something from it.
 
Celebrate little successes–even the simple things that you have accomplished–each day.
 
You are responsible for your own thoughts, feeling and actions, and we’re not responsible for anyone else’s. (27:11)
 
Happiness is a choice. (30:12)
 
You are fabulous all on your own, whether you have a significant other or not. That person can add to your “fabulosity,” but you by yourself are still amazing. Accept yourself.
 
The 8-step EMPOWERS process:
  • Enhance your energy (15:09)
  • Make extra time
  • Practice perspective (24:39) [Daree’s favorite part!]
  • Own your best self
  • Wake up your inner badass (33:20) [Kristina’s fave!]
  • Envision your inner purpose
  • Release the blocks and go for it
  • Shine your light brightly (45:26)

What You Can Do

Learn to let go of self-doubt and negative internal messages.
Ask for help when you need it. Say no if you need time to rest.
Take the “meta view” to shift your perspective and get more objectivity about your circumstances.
Don’t assume what others are thinking and feeling, or that they are out to get you and do something wrong to you. (27:30)
Learn to appreciate yourself as being perfectly imperfect.

 

Connect with My Guest

Dr. Kristina Hallett, Psychologist, Professor, Life Coach, Author
Website
Twitter
Instagram
Facebook
Linkedin

Links and Resources

Own Best Friend book info

Own Best Friend: Eight Steps to a Life of Purpose, Passion, and Ease by Dr. Kristina Hallett – BUY it here

 

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
  2. Tweet me @DareeAllen quoting #KickinitwithDaree
  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

 

KIWD Patreon Page

The graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts.

You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below.  These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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The Happy Middle with Lauri Mackey

In This Episode…

Have you ever felt like you wanted to accomplish something but talked yourself out of it with thoughts of, "You're too old," or "It's too late"?  Well, it's never too late to follow your dreams. Just ask Lauri Mackey, who has accomplished a LIST of things after turning 40, including racing mountain bikes and getting her GED in a class full of Hispanic teenagers that she had nothing else in common with!

Lauri shows us how to embrace and celebrate your current station in life– where you are right now!

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

 

You can't touch yesterday; the past is a learning tool. You have now.

Don't think in terms of waiting until. It's what you do today that will make your future goal a reality.


 

 

What You Can Do

 

Don't sell yourself short because you're over 40. Change your attitude from “I can't” to “I will.”

 

Change your negative language from “I can't because…” to “I WILL ___________.”

What you do now will go toward your future goals?

Be intentional with your actions. Visualize the manifestation of your dream becoming your reality.

Are you waiting to get motivated? Motivation is step 2!

Step 1 – Action – It doesn't have to be big. You can take baby steps, and it's ok if you “fall off the wagon” and miss a day or two. Just back to it!

Step 2 – Motivation (this istarts from the feeling you get after having accomplished step 1)

Step 3 – Momentum (develops from repeating steps 1 and 2 over and over again)

Step 3a – Have fun!

You don't have to be perfect when you are implementing these steps. No one is perfect. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be human.

 


 

 

Connect with My Guest

Lauri Mackey, Inspirational Speaker/Mountain Biker/RockStar Podcaster

Lauri's Lemonade Stand Positivity Podcast for Women
Blog
Facebook
Twitter 
Instagram

 

 

Links and Resources

Eddy's 60 Days of Sunshine emails
 

 

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The Best Kind of Stress Reliever with Teliah Gienger

 

In This Episode…

  • Reframe your stress (it’s not all bad)
  • Listen to your body while it’s talking (instead of waiting until it screams)
  • Look at challenges as an opportunity to grow

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

Stress is a part of life, and trying to get rid of all stress can stress you out even more! A better way is learning to manage stress instead of running away from it.

Stress is not always bad. It can alert you to things that are not good in your life, and motivate you to make changes.

In any venture or area of life, our success begins with a healthy mindset. – Teliah Gienger

Our bodies will naturally let us know when something is wrong, but its not always something drastic that happens, like a siren going off to get our attention. The signs it gives slowly build up until we can’t ignore them.

 

What You Can Do

Reframe challenges as an opportunity to grow.

Being in touch with your body allows you to become more aware of how things affect you.

 

Connect with My Guest

Teliah Gienger, Entrepreneur, Coach and Podcast Host
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/teliah.gienger and https://www.facebook.com/thebalancingactpodcast/
Twitter
Instagram – @teliahgienger (Personal) and @thebalancingactpodcast (Podcast)
Email – teliah@thebalancingactpodcast.com (Podcast Inquiries) or teliahgienger@gmail.com (All other inquiries)

 

Links and Resources

Forthcoming:

3-day yoga retreat in August 2017

40 Days to Healthy Habits by Teliah Gienger (an ebook focusing on nutrition, physical health, mental health through meditation, journaling, emotional and spiritual health, and lifestyle changes).

Ask and Share!

Ask questions and share your feedback:

  1. Comment on the show notes (below this post)
  2. Tweet me @DareeAllen quoting #KickinitwithDaree
  3. Email Kickinit [at] DareeAllen [dot] com

KIWD Patreon Page

 

Clicking on the graphic above will take you to my Patreon page, where you can commit to be a sponsor of this show in varying amounts.

You can opt to donate one-time production credits to support this podcast using the link below. These one-time credits do not expire, and are an optimal way to support the post production of podcasts you enjoy… like mine! – Donate for Podcast Production Credits

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Explore More with Dawn Serra

In This Episode…

Dawn Serra from the Sex Gets Real podcast discusses the ways that communication and introspective questions can help us find out explore more about what is pleasing to us, and how to get permission to explore more pleasure from our bodies, and how to ask our partners to explore more with us.

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

One of the ways that we hide our shame about sex is by performing—doing things we think are expected of us to do in certain ways. There’s a huge disconnect between what people are constantly being told sex is [from culture, media and society] and their actual experience.

Sometimes it’s hard to ask for what you want because it may hurt your partner’s ego. There’s a big tendency to avoid feeling awkward about it all, so we may shut down, ignore our own feelings of disappointment, or pretend it doesn’t matter as much as it does.

Watching movies and porn is for entertainment, not education.

Instead of asking ourselves what we want and what brings us pleasure, we are more often forced to do things that others say are “the way” to find pleasure.

All emotions are valid.

Some view learning technique as a way to try to avoid awkward conversations.

My body, my pleasure, my experiences—I’m not apologizing.” – Dawn Serra

 

Our body goes through changes as adults too—not just during adolescence. We can experiences differences in arousal, for example. Body changes should be viewed with disgust; claim your personal power. Feeling liberated is like nothing else. You don’t have to apologize.

What You Can Do

Beautiful things can happen when we take risks and start to open up, even in the face of feeling possible shame and rejection. Nobody wants to be the one to “go first;” we need “permission” to ask for what we want and need when it comes to our sexual desires.

Being vulnerable with your partner is how you get to the deepest levels of intimacy.

Start with yourself. What do you want more of?

Things to ask yourself (and your partner):

  • What parts of your body to you like to be touched?

  • What does pleasure look like for you?

 

Connect with My Guest

Dawn Serra, Speaker, Coach, Podcast Host

Website
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

Links and Resources

Sex Gets Real podcast

Explore More Summit – Free, 10-day annual summit begins March 8, 2017!

Facebook group

 

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Cultivating Lasting Love Through the Hard Times with Britany Felix

In This Episode…

  • When your friend has feelings for the one you’re in love with

  • Dealing with a long-distance relationship

  • Communicating with your partner during financial hardships

  • Getting along with each other despite opposite personality types

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Point

A sacrifice is when you are giving something up for nothing in return. A compromise gives you and the other person something without completely sacrificing for the other person.

What You Can Do

Together you and your partner have to find ways to compromise that allow you both to feel fulfilled and content in your relationship.

When you are in a long-distance relationship or separated from your spouse for a long period, the most important things you can do is have mutual trust, and commit to connect with each other daily (via phone, Facetime, Skype, etc.), even if you’re tired or in different time zones. Make sure you’re present in each other’s lives even though you can’t physically be there.

If you are considering a job or career change, or anything that will affect your family’s income or lifestyle, talk to your spouse before you make a final decision. Communicate with each other don’t be selfish—consider their needs too.

 

 

Connect with My Guest

Britany Felix, Host of the Living Unconventionally podcast (pictured at right with her husband, Bryan)
Website
Facebook
Living Unconventionally Community
Instagram
Twitter

 

Links and Resources

Purse-nality Disorder – how to deal with your spending/saving habits

 

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You ARE Worthy: Putting in the Work as a Love Athlete with Daniel Packard

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don't forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points

As an athlete, you know that if you put the work in, something better will happen.  That applies to love too. You can have more love if you want it, and are willing to work on yourself.


The pain of loneliness you feel is a lack of self-love, and it should drive you to seek healing. So don't shove your pain or sadness away by self-medicating with cynical/defeatist attitudes, a new "situationship," shopping, drugs, meaningless sex or alcohol. Listen to that pain. What is it trying to teach you?


It makes no sense to envy couples that you see in public, because you don't know the real underpinnings of their relationship. It may look like it's all love on the outside, but there could be toxic elements, codependency… you just can't tell but looking at them together out in the park or at the mall.

Sometimes the issue is not that you don't want to wait for the right person to come along, but that another person sees YOU as not worth the wait.


Worthiness is a spin-off of feeling that you are not enough.
 


"When you;re a queen, when you;re amazing, you don't have to talk about it, tell people or wear a t-shirt saying so.
You just ARE… and you let OTHERS say so."
– Daniel Packard


Your sense of worthiness makes you attract what you think deserve. So do you attract mates that fulfill you, or mates that make you struggle to get love?


If you ask yourself why you;re struggling in your relationships, or thinking your requests/concerns to your partner are a burden or a bother, it could be an effect of your lack of feeling worthy of being treated with love and respect. You are worthy of being listened to and having your needs met in a relationship.


People respond to "Do you think you could maybe…" differently than the more assertive, "I need to tell you what my needs are."  When you feel worthy, you don't beg for attention or affection. You tell (in an assertive manner, not bossy).

 

What You Can Do

Don't become jaded to the point where you don't think you need to be with anyone, ever.  If you;re taking time between relationships to heal, that's good, but don't AVOID or reject the possibility of a relationship because of fear due to past hurts. There's a difference between saying "I don't want a relationship" and "I don't want another relationship like the one I just had."


You may think you believe you are worthy of love, but here are two ways to be sure:

  1. Look at the type of mates you;re attracting… how do they treat you? Do they respect you?
  2. Do you believe you are good enough and deserve the best love possible, a 10 (on a scale of 10), or do you feel more like a 7 or less?

 

Connect with My Guest

Daniel Packard, Trainer of Love Athletes, Speaker, Author
Website
Twitter 

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It’s Not Worth It!

In This Episode…

Living a life of peace is hard to come by, but doable. In this episode, Daree shares 5 things to consider when someone “tries you” or attempts to get on your LAST nerve.

 

Ways to Listen to this Episode:

  1. Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
  2. Listen on iTunes, iHeartRadio, Google Play Music or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)

 

Key Points & What You Can Do

Ask yourself:
1- Is this issue (or this person’s issues) WORTH my peace? Your mental energy is needed for important decisions and situations… is this issue one of them? If so, resolve it as positively as possible and move on.
 
2- What do I have to gain? What will you get out of arguing with this person? Are you talking to someone that only hears themself? Are you talking to a person who thinks that he or she is always right?
 
3- Will this issue really matter in the future? Will this issue affect your relationship and your future for better or worse in a year from now? 5 years? Will you regret it on your deathbed?
 
4- Will my behavior jeopardize my character? If you really want to know someone’s character, watch how they act when they’re angry.  When the smoke clears, you don’t want there to be any evidence that your words and your actions don’t match. And if for some reason you do react out of character, you need to be quick to forgive yourself AND to seek forgiveness of the person you offended.
 
5- How can I avoid this situation (or this person) in the future? Honestly evaluate your friendships, close relatives and co-workers. You cannot always eliminate toxic relationships, especially when it comes to work environments or certain family members, but you CAN minimize contact and set boundaries for how to interact with you. You can be assertive about the kinds of interactions you will not tolerate, such as raising of the voice, gossiping around you, being asked for money, or whatever the trigger is. 

 

Links and Resources

Podcasts: Maintaining and letting go of friendships you’ve outgrown.

Blog Post: Dealing with Toxic People (by Daree Allen)

Blog Post: We Have to Allow Our Friendships to Evolve (by Natalie Lue)

 

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