Faking the Funk
In This Episode…
In this episode, I talked with the author of The Invitation to Love, Darren Pierre, Ph.D about:
- Why people grow up and keep living a life of pretense
- How you can help someone that you suspect is living a lie
- Learning to live with authenticity
- Having empathy for people who haven’t “grown up”
Ways to Listen to this Episode:
- Use the player above to listen/download the episode from this page
- Listen on iTunes or Stitcher Radio (don’t forget to rate, review and subscribe!)
Darren had a professor who said, “We spend our days trying to match our outsides to people’s insides.” So we look at what we see on someone’s outside and try to pretend that we are like them, or that everything is ok within us, because it SEEMS like this other person has their act together. But when you pretend to be something you’re not, you are hiding your pain, your struggles and insecurities. Sometimes a person feels like they cannot lean on someone or ask for help because the other person doesn’t seem approachable, or seem like they would understand.
It may seem that someone else’s life, family, or job is perfect, that it was easy to attain, or that they have no problems, but there is always a journey involved (inner struggles, highs and lows) and you may not know the details.
What You Can Do
If you want to help someone who you suspect may be “faking the funk” and putting on a front with others to cover their own problems, remember these things:
People show up to the lessons of life when they are ready to receive them. Make an assessment to discern whether a person is ready to make a change in his or her life. You cannot want it or do it for them—they have to be ready and willing to take the next step and effect change.
No matter what choice they make, you must let go of your desires for their life. You can pray for them and be patient as they continue on their journey.
Connect with My Guest
Dr. Darren Pierre, Author, and Assistant Director of Student Involvement , University of Chicago
Links and Resources
Bible reference (Paul): 1 Corinthians 13:11
How Are You? No Really, I Want to Know by Daree Allen
The Invitation to Love: Recognizing the Gift Despite Pain, Fear and Resistance by Dr. Darren Pierre
The Color Purple by Alice Walker